Milkin’ it: A list of informative breastfeeding tips, tricks, and suggestions

Oh breastfeeding, The things I now love and use to hate about you. It truly is a relationship of crazy proportions and expectations. As you know (because I’m not afraid to speak my mind on this) I 100% support breastfeeding and it’s benefits, but if you ever plan to do it or plan to support someone who does it, you will need to mentally, physically and emotionally prepare yourself for it. The truth about breastfeeding is; you’re really going to endure blood, sweat and tears and yes, sometimes all at the same time.

While I had decided way before I was pregnant that I would breastfeed, I never knew all the complications that came along with it. I thought it would be easy and beautiful and that everything would just magically work wonderfully. I’m not really trying to share my experience in too much detail, because I feel like people who want to know can just ask me personally, but if I could go back in time and tell “old me” what “present me” knows now about all the breastfeeding hacks, and things that worked best, I would have saved myself so many rough days. With much learned from those rough days, I decided to compile a list of tips you will probably find beneficial to know about breastfeeding, as well as products you must have and information you’ll be so glad you know about when things get tough during your breastfeeding journey. There will be days when you’re ready to quit, and when you may feel like everything is going wrong, but support and being informed is what kept me going and I hope to be that light to someone else. I will try to make this as informative as possible without being too opinionated or wordy. I’ll do my best to provide links for the products I’ve used as well as websites for anything else beneficial.

1. Nursing bras and clothes: Target is pretty good for this I went all the way up to a size 36DDD and they had a bra that fit me as well as several affordable tops, tanks and sleep wear. (Also target is the best for anything baby) Poshmark is also a great place to look for gently used nursing clothes and bras. Your nursing bra is going to be your best friend because all of your other bras (and practically your whole wardrobe) are going to be useless, so make sure you get some staple BF clothes. https://www.target.com/p/women-s-nursing-full-coverage-bra-gilligan-o-malley-153/-/A-50319158?preselect=50186729#lnk=sametab

2. Breast-pads: okay so I leaked like crazy and especially for the first 4 months after baby was born, a smart way to go it reusable breast pads and the reason why is because they are so much more comfortable. Bamboobies is a great company to purchase them from (soft bamboo fabric) and they often have great deals on them (follow them on Instagram). Medela also sells reusable breast pads. Disposable work just as well as reusable, but for me personally they just don’t feel as comfortable.

Ultra-Thin Nursing Pads

3. Coconut oil: FOR. EVERY. SINGLE. THING! Cracked nipple: coconut oil. Thrush: Coconut Oil. Diaper Rash: coconut oil. Lubricant for your pump parts so milk flows easier: coconut oil. The most universal product ever! Antibacterial and your new BFF!

4. A 32 fl oz. water bottle, canister, cup or anything you can think of so that you’re drinking at least half of your body weight in ounces of water a day. You honestly need to drink more than that because you’re going to be so thirsty while breastfeeding, always have water before you start nursing or pumping. (Again target is your bff, hit her up)

5. Nipple shield: Many lactation consultants will insist you avoid this, but this helped me tremendously and what actually help my breastfeeding journey. So just incase your baby has latch issues, consider getting a nipple shield. I had no idea this existed until someone (My awesome Doula) brought me one when my baby wouldn’t latch well on my nipple, it worked some days and some days it did not. When my baby finally started to breastfed he weaned off the shield fairly quickly, but the shield actually works and some moms rely on them for much longer than just the first few weeks.

https://www.target.com/p/medela-contact-nipple-shield-24mm/-/A-10953414

6. Hakka: This is the absolute most amazing item for new moms! It’s basically a milk catcher. While you nurse on one side you let this thing catch the leaking milk from the other side. This will help you build a stash early and quickly. Amazon has plenty of different brands of these, read reviews before you buy though, you will want to make sure the product is good quality.

NatureBond Silicone Manual Breast Pump Breastfeeding Milk Saver Suction | BONUS Pump Stopper, Lid, Pouch, AirTight Vacuum Sealed in Hardcover Gift Box. BPA Free & 100% Food Grade Silicone https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LZ2ZVCY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_JwW.AbMBSHGSX

7. Breast pump: electric or manual, it is recommended for moms to wait a least until 4-6 weeks before you start pumping so that your baby regulates your milk flow and you don’t over produce and get a clogged duct or mastitis. I pumped literally the first day EJ was born, but again, he didn’t latch well and I was determined to feed him colostrum…and I’m so glad I was able to all thanks to the pump. Check with your insurance before you buy a pump to see if they will cover the cost and make sure you get your pump as soon as possible. You’ll want to make sure your parts are sanitized and you know how to use the pump before baby comes, you never know when you will need it. I’ve heard spectra is a great brand, I personally used Medela, but wish I would of went with a spectra. Also a manual pump is great to have on hand for emergencies or when you’re on the go.

8. Duckbills for your pump: some pump parts just don’t work as well as they should and if you’re like me and had to get a very basic pump, research items to improve your pump. Duckbills create a tens times better suction, so you get more milk in less time pumping. Amazon; again if she already wasn’t, she’s your new other best friend!

NeneSupply 5 Count Duckbill Valves Use with Spectra S1 Spectra S2 9 Plus Breastpumps and Medela Pump In Style Symphony Not Original Spectra S2 Accessories Replaces Spectra Valve and Medela Valve https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BYNFVDS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_axW.Ab7V7E0VD

9. Pump flange size: Every woman’s body is different and this is why I love amazon! After going through 3 different flange sizes, I finally found the perfect size flange that fit my nipple. My milk flow has been excellent ever since making sure I have good pump parts and correct sizes for my body.

10. Research formula: in the event you need to formula feed, research and buy one or two canisters of formula that you think would be best. Seriously…please research though, many formulas first ingredient is sugar which I personally didn’t realize until I started reading labels. My personal opinion; I believe the reason so many children struggle with having a healthy non-processed diet later on in life is due to being fed sugar-filled formula, they become so accustomed to sugar that they can’t live without it. I’m a pure example. GIVE ME ALL THE SUGAR!

My formula of choice was Enfamil Enspire https://www.enfamil.com/feeding-my-baby/enspire-by-enfamil

11. Gentian violet: one word. THRUSH. Yup that’s right, yeast on your nipple…oh and possibly in your baby’s mouth. This nifty little product will help kill it. Messy as heck, and a little embarrassing, but worth it especially since it kills the thrush within 3 days. You can look up the “how to use” on Pinterest.

12. Baby Probiotic: Sooo important! Your baby’s gut health is a little blah when they are first born. With their new tummy out in the world and basically taking in everything you are (remember baby in a sense eats what you eat) you’ll want to help keep them regulated, as well as help them avoid things like thrush or upset stomach. I used one from my chiropractor that worked great and easy to give to baby.

13. Mommy probiotic: This will also help prevent and fight off thrush as well. A healthy gut tends to also help keep other parts of your body healthy as well. Keep in mind whatever you eat can affect you baby, it’s always good to try and avoid: sugar, dairy and processed foods during the first 2 months after your baby is born and especially if you’re breastfeeding. Also was able to get this from my chiropractor

14. Chiropractic care: I know not everyone agrees with this, but EJ benefited greatly from gentle chiropractic care and I believe it was a major key in his ability to breastfed the first time he was adjusted, he pooped and slept like a perfect little angel. Gradually after each adjustment (remember birth is traumatic) he felt comfortable to breastfed.

Homepage – Shtulman

15. Oatmeal: for me it has Proven to help create regular milk production. Make cookies. (I have a killer recipe if you want it) Overnight oats. Plain oatmeal. The stuff is a godsend when you feel your supply is low and need a quick boost.

16. Nursing cover: I know not everyone is a fan of these and well I’m not really particularly either, they are hot and once your baby reaches a certain age they usually refuse to be covered and pull it off and the next thing you know you’re flashing the whole world, however, for new moms and their newborns this will honestly help you get into the swing of things. My personal experience breastfeeding out in public was so scary, my cover honestly helped me get comfortable as I was trying to figure out breastfeeding. I now often wear oversized tops so that when I do nurse I’m still covered. I’ve even had to use it to pump in a car once. When you have a new born, your hormones are pretty much out of whack and if you’re not quite comfortable feeding out in public, a cover will be your protector and security blanket, literally. The brand I use it infantino, but again bamboobies also has a great cover.

17. Nursing pillows…basically any pillow: Yes, your arm will get tired and yes this is worth the money. Also becomes a great tool for tummy time!

18. Legendairy milk products: If you find your supply just won’t keep up and you’re in desperate need of a supply boost, please consider taking a supplement that has good reviews, is organic and is without fenugreek. Although fenugreek does work for some women’s milk supply, it can also have a reverse affect. Legendairy milk has helped me so much and I’m very thankful for their products.

https://www.legendairymilk.com

19. Pumping bra: You honestly don’t have time to sit there and hold your pump parts while you pump! Pumping hands free is so important especially if you’re trying to tend to other things. If you can’t afford to buy one, use an old sports bra and cut out two small holes where your nipple would be and wallah! You have a pumping bra.

https://www.target.com/p/medela-easy-expression-bustier/-/A-52670221?preselect=51752717#lnk=sametab

20. Working mom? That’s great, however it can be super hard, but if you’re able to take pump breaks at work, take advantage of them. Research the laws for your state and fight for your rights. I’ve been mostly (not always) lucky with having support from colleagues and supervisors when it came to pumping at work and I’m so thankful for that. Don’t let anyone bully you or question the way you decide to feed your baby.

21. Lastly and most defiantly not least, (because I’m sure there is things I forgot) SUPPORT! Gosh I’m telling you, if I was not supported the way that I was on this journey, I would of never continued. My child is one; and I am happy to say he still breastfeeds and I’m cool with it and it’s pretty much routine, simple and like we’ve been doing it forever. Now the journey to this beautiful relationship took so much out of me, but I learned so much. I went through some really hard times; Thrush, mastitis, clogged ducts, cracked nipples, bleeding nipples, feeding with a nipple shield, latch issues, formula issues…the list goes on, but we made it. We made it only because I was always supported and vouched for. I’m so blessed because of that. We are content and comfortable and I have to say; I waited so long for this journey and now here we are, pure bliss. I hope only that every mother can feel that while feeding her baby, no matter how she feeds him/her.

My final bit of lovingly advice: If you need help, If you need support, please ask someone who is knowledgeable…ask someone who won’t judge you or make you feel uncomfortable. Whether it be your doula, midwife, lactation consultant or even a close friend or family member who supports you. Avoid social media for advice because that just makes you bait for social media trolls. Trust that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and try to enjoy it all.

With love,

Nicole xo

Comforting

2 weeks in, my mom came over and started to fold and put away laundry. I was sitting in my bed, holding my fresh baby, feeding him a bottle of formula because I took a nap instead of pumping. I was at my wits end, scared to shower because I was in pain, beyond exhausted, uncomfortable, trying to hold back tears as my mom talked to me about her day. But I couldn’t even hear her over my own horrible thoughts. “You’re a bad mom.

You need to try harder. If you stop, you’re a failure.

You should of never took that nap.

How dare you think of yourself over your baby.”

Me: “Mom. I just can’t do this. my boobs hurt so bad, he won’t latch…I can’t continue pumping because I’m SO. FREAKING. TIRED. He screams and hates me and I just can’t take it!”

Mom: *walks over to me* “I will support you no matter what you do, you don’t have to breastfeed, but if you want to continue, you have to keep trying. He will get it, it’s going to be okay.

As I sat there and cried, I never felt more torn, or defeated in my life, all the while still feeling supported. Many things have left me torn and made me feel defeated, however breastfeeding felt as if it were my enemy, but I just wasn’t willing to quit. I promise I don’t say this to make anyone feel bad or reconsider their feeding methods. I was lucky in the sense that I had the time off from work and the amazing support of family, friends, EJ’s pediatricians, my midwife and doula, and even my birth photographer during my postpartum and breastfeeding journey. Everyone was rooting for me, No sorry, for us; to figure out breastfeeding. And because I advocate so intensely for it now, obviously all worked out. At EJ’s 2 month check up, his pediatrician suggested I try to get him to latch after his vaccine and by a miracle of God, he did. So I went from an exclusively pumping mama to a full on breastfeeding mama and I was on top of the world. This is not the case for everyone. We didn’t have it easy, but we had the support every postpartum mom deserves after she houses her baby then gives birth to him/her. Which is almost more important than any feeding method out there. To be honest, all that it would of took for me to stop pumping/breastfeeding, would of been lack of support. The moment someone would of said something harsh it would of all been downhill.

I was blessed, many others don’t always have that luxury. So in whatever a mom decides to do or however she plans to feed her baby, be supportive. You never know when you could be “all that it took” for her to stop something she worked so hard for.

So for now, We are here.

Two weeks away from EJ Turing one and no weaning in sight. Though he may change his mind in two weeks and completely stop breastfeeding, I’m so proud that we came this far. I’m also not afraid to tell you “yes, we’re still breastfeeding and no it’s not any of your business when we will stop”

Breastfeeding has been many things for me; one of the most important things at this time in my life would be anxiety relief. And for EJ, you may have to ask him on this one, but I would say it is probably quality time. Believe it or not, alone time with EJ, just me and him (because he refuses to eat if someone else is taking to me), quiet, precious, quality time provides me so much peace and him a sense of calm and for us together so much love for one another. I sing to him and he touches my face with his sweet little hand and I kiss it over and over. You don’t even understand the love pouring out of my heart every time we have our time together. I love where we are now in our breastfeeding journey, it was so extremely rough in the beginning but now the only way I can describe it overall; Comforting.

Thank God for formula

Probably weren’t expecting that statement from this pro breastfeeding mama, but you should know I am a pro formula feeding mama too and more than anything I’m a “not really worried about what you think mama” (but only a little because I at least want you to think I’m doing my best). While I will advocate, educate, and fight for normality when it comes to breastfeeding, you need to know I will do the same for formula feeding and here is why: Formula nourished my baby’s body when I was knocked out, fevered and barely able to move a few days after he was born. Formula, kept my baby fed when I was too tired to wake up 30 minutes before he was suppose to wake up and pump for him. Formula kept my baby fed when I wasn’t able to because I had a stomach virus and was not able to even keep down an ounce of water and my milk almost dried up. Formula kept my baby fed when I wasn’t able to pump enough milk for all of my baby’s feedings at daycare because of stress. Formula kept my baby happy and full when I forgot to grab my breastmilk from a family member’s house. Formula keeps babies fed. Formula helps babies grow just as breastmilk does. Breastmilk makes babies happy, just as formula does.

I think that sometimes people may get the wrong idea of why I decided to breastfeed in the first place, while yes I no doubt think it’s beneficial for my baby as far as his immunity and overall healthy. I don’t do it because I think I’m better than anyone else, I do it because I love that my body not only nourished and protected my baby for 10 months, but it has nourished his body for 10 months and still continues to. I’ve always been taught (from the world) that my breasts were sexual and nothing more than a part of me that was only good for one thing. When I had a baby and I realized that they could nourish my child, I became so fascinated of what my body was capable of. I made a commitment to breastfeed/pump for my baby for as long as he wanted (within reason) and so far I’m keeping my commitments and every once in a while accepting help from formula. I’m not ashamed to admit I have used and still use formula when needed and I don’t want other moms who breastfeed to feel this way either. Some people can throw so much advice at you it’s almost sickening. “Did you drink enough water? Are you taking your vitamins? You should power pump! Just keep trying and whatever you do, DON’T GIVE UP” But why? Why can’t I give up, if it means I don’t lose my mind and hate myself over it? Can people just calm down with the Pro-breastfeeding groups. While yes they can be helpful, I know they have got to be annoying and frustrating for the woman who decide to stop breastfeeding or never breastfeed to begin with. These moms will rage at you to practically die before you formula feed and I just don’t see a need for it. We should feel comfortable feeding our baby what is best and what will keep them from going hungry, am I right? If you need a break, or if you’re just not feeling the breastfeeding route, go with a good formula. I promise I won’t judge you. Ever.

I just wanted to come out and say this, because my breastfeeding journey has in no way been perfect. I know at times I can make it seem that way, but it really can be difficult. EJ rarely breastfed when he was first born and I pumped almost all his bottles up until he was 8 weeks when he finally learned to latch. I was on the verge Of quitting and feeling so guilty, when one day he just latched perfectly. When I look back on those first 8 weeks of his life, I wish I would of enjoyed him more and not worried so much about what I was going to feed him. He took both breastmilk and formula so well that it would of never mattered what I fed him more of.

Just remember, while yes breastfeeding is so great and beneficial, so if formula feeding. I am aware that many formulas contain sugar as one of the first ingredients and that is why it’s important to pick a healthy and well balanced formula, do your research! Keep in mind if you plan to breastfeed, you as your child’s main source of nutrition, will also have to eat a well balanced diet, drink tons of water, and sometimes even eat a limited diet as far as dairy and sweets. Formula is so important and I’m so thankful that it was there not only when I needed a break but also when I was in a predicament. In my book if you feed your baby, you’re a good mom. We gotta stop shaming Moms for ridiculous reason like switching to formula or never even trying it breastfeed. Moms get enough slack from their own minds and own judgement on themselves that they just need support and understanding from those closest to them, oh and Caffeine, we need caffeine too.

Please try to understand

I’m sitting in a closet. Preparing my baby’s next meals in an old, dusty closet that hasn’t been cleaned in only God knows how many years. So this is what is has come to. All the support and “great jobs on keeping up with breastfeeding” has come to me sitting in an old Rickety chair, a child size desk, and a door that doesn’t lock from the inside. The room is hot and the electrical outlet looks like it’s going to catch fire. Great. Way to support women in the workplace. My blood is boiling and my heart is in my throat. I’m sick to my stomach and I’m so very tired of feeling like a burden, I shouldn’t have to because I’m doing the absolute best I can for my baby and The only reason I continued my breastfeeding journey after going back to work was because I thought I was supported. I’m doing what I worked so dang hard for.

The back and forth comments I hear regularly:

“You should breastfeed its best for the baby’s development”

“You should just try formula feeding, it’s easier and they have some good ones out there just as good as breastmilk.”

“You can just pump at work, and reserve a room right?”

“Are you almost done doing whatever you’re doing, we need this room.”

“Breast is best!”

“Fed is best, try formula it’s easier!”

I’m so tired of the comments behind my back.

I’m so tired of the arrogance.

I’m so tired of “our meeting about budgets is more important than you finding a place to feed your child”

Please don’t go to my supervisor who is a male and tell him that I can’t use any of the meeting rooms. COME TO ME! Tell me to my face! I am the one who has to use the room, not him!

I’m so tired of people and their opinions and I’m astonished that I have to explain myself. It is so sad. I’m sitting in closet for goodness sake, when I could be using any 3 of the open meeting rooms we have in our very large building. God forbid a spur of the moment meeting occurs about things that don’t really matter and I become the bad guy.

Depressing.

Frustrating.

Insulting.

I can feel the redness and heat radiating off my face. I’ve never been this furious. Unthoughtful men and women alike, Please don’t look at me like I have 3 eyes and 10 arms when I asked if your meeting is almost over, honestly I can hear you chatting about your unimportant weekend plans. Please understand that it has been 4 hours since I last fed my baby and I’m uncomfortable. Don’t think I’m rushing you along because I think I have some authority. If I ask how much longer, I don’t do it to be rude, I do it because there are no available rooms for me to pump and this room is my last resort. “Oh well we will just put her in a hot closet.” Way to go PBC, on protecting and providing for the new working moms. Yes, I understand that there are sometimes short notice events and yes I understand you will have meetings, but I always take the time to check the calendar and make sure I’m not overlapping your meeting. If you have your own private office, I think that could suffice as a meeting room. I work in an open area, so please tell me how I am suppose to pump for my baby in an open area?

Don’t tell me “The baby is 6 months old, when are you going to stop? WHY in the heck would I stop when it’s going so good. When my son is growing so well and we have a beautiful bond and he’s showing signs of 9 months motor and intellectual skills. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I STOP? Don’t tell me just for today I can use someone’s office since they are out and then expect me to figure out what I’m suppose to do for the rest of the week when you’re using my last resort and that person who was out yesterday is back today. Don’t ask me if I miss my baby and tell me I’m doing a great job and then criticize me behind my back on how I choose to feed my baby. Don’t give me a glare when I walk past you in the hall because I’m “always” using the meeting room.

Please understand you are the reason woman stop breastfeeding at 3 and 4 months because they don’t feel comfortable. You are the reason women get anxiety and lose their milk supply. You are the reason women cry because they feel like a burden. You are the reason woman doubt themselves and their ability to do what’s right at work and do what’s right for their baby. You are the reason woman feel like they can’t have children and be a working mom. You are the reason women quit their jobs. I hope someone reads this and has some realization and “wow she’s right” moment. Moms who breastfeed and pump need support in the workplace. Why does this have to be a struggle? Why do I feel so hurt? Why can’t people just be considerate and understanding? Consider that maybe you are the problem, and the breastfeeding mom who may slightly inconvenience you for 30 minutes is not.